A sublime message
I just realised something...
And that quote just reminded me of another "smart" thing I said some time ago at my work
(making my collegues laugh like crazy):
I need to think.
...This might take a while.
It seems that I'm not so smart as I thought. I send out sublime messages about my state of feeling, considering the things I write here. Yeah, I figured that out by myself (of courseI realise that too). ;-) But sometimes when I want to send out a thought in form of a *sigh*, trying to just be natural and realising the reality as it is (not as I want it to be), it appears to people in a different way than expected.
The sender's message does not always reach the reader in the right way.
But maybe, the sublime message that we spread from within and into the web,
hits another person's heart.
With the result of questions like: Are you really ok?
Maybe the sublime message is the true one?
Maybe I am not. Maybe I am.
I know for one thing that some things in my life are upside down.
And the worries that the uncertainty creates are not to sublime for the web.
You realise as I, that the reason I need to write when the emotions go to far,
is a way of crying out.
A way of dealing with it.
A way of making the reailty real, the only way to move on.
I cannot move on if I'm not sure of the worreis I carry around are real or not.
i need to stop in the motion,
accept the reality as it is,
and let go of whatever I feel.
To let go is the best way of living the reality.
Let go of your desires.
Let go of your emotions.
Let go of your attachments.
That will free you.
I want to direct a prayer and gratitudes
to some friends that really care.
May you be safe,
may you be happy,
may you be healthy,
may you live with ease.
From Buddhist Metta Meditation
(Thank you Vipassana for teaching me Metta)
The actual truth right now - I AM happy (and I was yesturday too after taking a hot bath)
I'm just to spoiled not to realise that some times when I write my blog ;-)
Seba - Forever
It's snowing in Karlstad today
And that quote just reminded me of another "smart" thing I said some time ago at my work
(making my collegues laugh like crazy):
I need to think.
...This might take a while.
It seems that I'm not so smart as I thought. I send out sublime messages about my state of feeling, considering the things I write here. Yeah, I figured that out by myself (of courseI realise that too). ;-) But sometimes when I want to send out a thought in form of a *sigh*, trying to just be natural and realising the reality as it is (not as I want it to be), it appears to people in a different way than expected.
The sender's message does not always reach the reader in the right way.
But maybe, the sublime message that we spread from within and into the web,
hits another person's heart.
With the result of questions like: Are you really ok?
Maybe the sublime message is the true one?
Maybe I am not. Maybe I am.
I know for one thing that some things in my life are upside down.
And the worries that the uncertainty creates are not to sublime for the web.
You realise as I, that the reason I need to write when the emotions go to far,
is a way of crying out.
A way of dealing with it.
A way of making the reailty real, the only way to move on.
I cannot move on if I'm not sure of the worreis I carry around are real or not.
i need to stop in the motion,
accept the reality as it is,
and let go of whatever I feel.
To let go is the best way of living the reality.
Let go of your desires.
Let go of your emotions.
Let go of your attachments.
That will free you.
I want to direct a prayer and gratitudes
to some friends that really care.
May you be safe,
may you be happy,
may you be healthy,
may you live with ease.
From Buddhist Metta Meditation
(Thank you Vipassana for teaching me Metta)
The actual truth right now - I AM happy (and I was yesturday too after taking a hot bath)
I'm just to spoiled not to realise that some times when I write my blog ;-)
Seba - Forever
It's snowing in Karlstad today
Greatness is an illusion
"Greatness is a vision"
These words were spoken in the movie Gladiator. I watched it to get a feeling of Rome and fresh up my memories from the wonderful city of ancient times. I wanted to dream away, getting inspired, but I had forgotten how many violent scenes there are in the movie. And almost nothing of Rome's architecture. *sigh*
The past and coming weeks I'm spending on the sofa, watching TV and feeling sorry for myself, since my knee got seriously injured at the last training camp. I had plans to go to Rome and practice now but a strike of bad luck hit me and threw my happy mood and plans upside down.
I thought I had learned not to expect anything. Learned to stop making plans. But these plans and visions were so happy ones, and not so fixed in time, so I thought I could realise them. Now I look forward (not) to several months of rehab because of my knee. No more Shorinjikempo. No more Rome?
I have a new job also from next year. I will do some research for 4-5 years so right now
I just feel stuck in my home,
stuck in my situation,
stuck in my crawings.
How come I feel this way when I finally got what I wished for?
Maybe it's the "ed" in wished that is scaring me.
I need to find a way to keep my new found sense of freedom.
And you. Are we gliding apart?
It feels like it.
And I'm not sure what I want.
What I wish for the future.
I'm tired of getting dissapionted.
Abandoned.
Even tough I know I'm doing it to myself.
The warrior of light is a believer.
Because he believes in miracles,
miracles begin to happen.
Because he is sure that his thoughts can change his life,
his life begins to change.
Because he is certain that he will find love,
that love appears.
Now and then, he is disappointed. Sometimes, he gets hurt.
Then he hears people say: 'He's so ingenuous!'
But the warrior knows that it is worth it.
For every defeat, he has two victories in his favour.
All beleivers know this.
"Manual of the Warrior of light" Coelho
These words were spoken in the movie Gladiator. I watched it to get a feeling of Rome and fresh up my memories from the wonderful city of ancient times. I wanted to dream away, getting inspired, but I had forgotten how many violent scenes there are in the movie. And almost nothing of Rome's architecture. *sigh*
The past and coming weeks I'm spending on the sofa, watching TV and feeling sorry for myself, since my knee got seriously injured at the last training camp. I had plans to go to Rome and practice now but a strike of bad luck hit me and threw my happy mood and plans upside down.
I thought I had learned not to expect anything. Learned to stop making plans. But these plans and visions were so happy ones, and not so fixed in time, so I thought I could realise them. Now I look forward (not) to several months of rehab because of my knee. No more Shorinjikempo. No more Rome?
I have a new job also from next year. I will do some research for 4-5 years so right now
I just feel stuck in my home,
stuck in my situation,
stuck in my crawings.
How come I feel this way when I finally got what I wished for?
Maybe it's the "ed" in wished that is scaring me.
I need to find a way to keep my new found sense of freedom.
And you. Are we gliding apart?
It feels like it.
And I'm not sure what I want.
What I wish for the future.
I'm tired of getting dissapionted.
Abandoned.
Even tough I know I'm doing it to myself.
The warrior of light is a believer.
Because he believes in miracles,
miracles begin to happen.
Because he is sure that his thoughts can change his life,
his life begins to change.
Because he is certain that he will find love,
that love appears.
Now and then, he is disappointed. Sometimes, he gets hurt.
Then he hears people say: 'He's so ingenuous!'
But the warrior knows that it is worth it.
For every defeat, he has two victories in his favour.
All beleivers know this.
"Manual of the Warrior of light" Coelho
I need a miracle.
November is very dark here.
November is very dark here.
Liberation and pain, pain or liberation?
Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller
Apparently that goes for Vipassana as well -
Vipassana is a succession of lessons
(endless if you ask me)
which must be experienced to be understood...
I did not have the memory of Vipassana
as that painful.
But it's the same everytime.
When you go there and realise that,
you ask yourself:
"God, WHY AM I DOING THIS? This is torture."
...But at the same time blissful.
And the blissful memory is what stays behind. Luckily.
Otherwise i don't think I would go back.
When you are at Vipassana you wish the pain (I'm referring to the physical since you sit for 11 hours each day and aaaaall your old injuries and mental problems is being brought up to surface again) to go away, that is, you wish the retreat was over because that's the only way to stop the pain.
When you are away from Vipassana you wish you were back there...experiencing it all again. Because you realise that this is the only way to be liberated and free.
And this time the sound of the gong gong 4 o'clock in the morning felt comfortable. I was actually welcoming it. Getting up early in the morning to sit and meditate, falling asleep from time to time in that painful yet peaceful experience of meditation. You realise in Vipassana that pain is not harmful, it's not dangerous. It's disturbing and you want to free yourself from it, but the pain itself is not killing you.
But the most important lesson I bring with me, once again, is that EVERYTHING CHANGES. Everything.
Even the mountain will change in time.
And of course you, made of flesh and blood.
The only thing we know for certain is that WE WILL DIE.
And yet, people are so so afraid of it.
And your mind will change.
Your attitute and your temperament, your wishes and dreams, they keep changing.
So the pain I expereinced in so many ways in so many days
are now switched into joy and happiness.
I'm relieved. I'm not that stressed out.
I'm actually looking forward to things that concerned me a few days ago.
And that's victorious.
A wise man said:
Buddhism
is a product of Buddhists,
Dhamma
is a product of Buddha.
Follow Dhamma.
- S.N. Goenka
I follow Dhamma...
...follow it with me
- Helen Keller
Apparently that goes for Vipassana as well -
Vipassana is a succession of lessons
(endless if you ask me)
which must be experienced to be understood...
I did not have the memory of Vipassana
as that painful.
But it's the same everytime.
When you go there and realise that,
you ask yourself:
"God, WHY AM I DOING THIS? This is torture."
...But at the same time blissful.
And the blissful memory is what stays behind. Luckily.
Otherwise i don't think I would go back.
When you are at Vipassana you wish the pain (I'm referring to the physical since you sit for 11 hours each day and aaaaall your old injuries and mental problems is being brought up to surface again) to go away, that is, you wish the retreat was over because that's the only way to stop the pain.
When you are away from Vipassana you wish you were back there...experiencing it all again. Because you realise that this is the only way to be liberated and free.
And this time the sound of the gong gong 4 o'clock in the morning felt comfortable. I was actually welcoming it. Getting up early in the morning to sit and meditate, falling asleep from time to time in that painful yet peaceful experience of meditation. You realise in Vipassana that pain is not harmful, it's not dangerous. It's disturbing and you want to free yourself from it, but the pain itself is not killing you.
But the most important lesson I bring with me, once again, is that EVERYTHING CHANGES. Everything.
Even the mountain will change in time.
And of course you, made of flesh and blood.
The only thing we know for certain is that WE WILL DIE.
And yet, people are so so afraid of it.
And your mind will change.
Your attitute and your temperament, your wishes and dreams, they keep changing.
So the pain I expereinced in so many ways in so many days
are now switched into joy and happiness.
I'm relieved. I'm not that stressed out.
I'm actually looking forward to things that concerned me a few days ago.
And that's victorious.
A wise man said:
Buddhism
is a product of Buddhists,
Dhamma
is a product of Buddha.
Follow Dhamma.
- S.N. Goenka
I follow Dhamma...
...follow it with me