Meditating Maitreya

"Greatness is a vision"

These words were spoken in the movie Gladiator. I watched it to get a feeling of Rome and fresh up my memories from the wonderful city of ancient times. I wanted to dream away, getting inspired, but I had forgotten how many violent scenes there are in the movie. And almost nothing of Rome's architecture. *sigh*
The past and coming weeks I'm spending on the sofa, watching TV and feeling sorry for myself, since my knee got seriously injured at the last training camp. I had plans to go to Rome and practice now but a strike of bad luck hit me and threw my happy mood and plans upside down.

I thought I had learned not to expect anything. Learned to stop making plans. But these plans and visions were so happy ones, and not so fixed in time, so I thought I could realise them. Now I look forward (not) to several months of rehab because of my knee. No more Shorinjikempo. No more Rome?

I have a new job also from next year. I will do some research for 4-5 years so right now
I just feel stuck in my home,
stuck in my situation,
stuck in my crawings.

How come I feel this way when I finally got what I wished for?
Maybe it's the "ed" in wished that is scaring me.
I need to find a way to keep my new found sense of freedom.


And you. Are we gliding apart?
It feels like it.
And I'm not sure what I want.
What I wish for the future.
I'm tired of getting dissapionted.
Abandoned.
Even tough I know I'm doing it to myself.



The warrior of light is a believer.

Because he believes in miracles,
miracles begin to happen.
Because he is sure that his thoughts can change his life,
his life begins to change.
Because he is certain that he will find love,
that love appears.

Now and then, he is disappointed. Sometimes, he gets hurt.

Then he hears people say: 'He's so ingenuous!'

But the warrior knows that it is worth it.
For every defeat, he has two victories in his favour.

All beleivers know this.

"Manual of the Warrior of light" Coelho